Thoughts Of My Mom At Passover

It’s Passover.  It’s been three months since I last saw you Mom.

There are days when I say, “Alright already, enough of this Ma, I want to see your face, I want to hear your voice, I want to feel your love”.  I still can’t conceive that I never will again.

And so it’s time to clean the mud off of the heels I wore the day I bade you goodbye.  I kept that mud on those heels because somehow it kept me closer to a time when I still had you.

You are so far away from me now, you are eons away.  Time takes on a different texture now, it is heavier than before.

My heart is a trunk full of gratitude for all that I have, and for all that you gave me.  I go on, I move on in life, I know what to do because you taught me so well, but I miss you.

It’s Passover and as I make the Matzoh balls for the soup, I hear you telling me that I make the best soup, that there is nothing like my soup.

We sit down for the Seder, it is a fine Seder, we sing, we laugh, we tell the story and have our four cups of wine.  But you’re not sitting next to me Mom, and I miss you.

9 responses

  1. My thoughts were also of you mom. It was a wonderful seder, Susie set a gorgeous table, I wish you could have seen it. Iche presided beautifully as always. We asked questions, sang songs (with dad chiming in at times), enjoyed the delicious cooking. Still, not having you there was so strange, so unfathomable. I miss you so much mom and I so wish you were here so that I could again tell you how much I love you.

  2. Susie – thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I know well those sentiments. I think of my mom all the time and even, four years later, it is so hard to believe that she is beyond our reach. Love to you. Ann

  3. Susan – beautifully written! – you write for everyone who has a parent we can’t touch but still feel loved – love to all Kathy

  4. My heart goes to you susie missing our dearest love is so painful I FEEL YOUR WORDS I UNDERSTAND WITH MUCH LOVE TU AMIGA

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